Player to be Named Later

As an expecting father-to-be, there are a lot of normal things about which I have to worry. Will my child be healthy, happy, loved, smart, funny, etc.? As I stumble through life and the delivery date grows larger on the horizon, both rational and irrational fears come at me at an increasing rate. I know I don’t have to worry about dingos, but what about Gypsies? That seals it, he’s sleeping in our room. Yes, rational and irrational. When the rational fears come my way I face them pragmatically, immediately seeking resolution. When the irrational fears come my way, I let them gnaw at me for a bit, until I snap out of it and say to myself, “that’s stupid.”

I’m not keeping a physical list of my rational and irrational fears. It’s mostly all in my head, as it were. If I was keeping a list, however, I’d have a new one to throw on the pile. Today, Jani sent me a link to an article. The headline said: “New Mom Leaves N.D. Hospital with Wrong Baby.” Awesome! So, now I don’t just have to worry about the health and well being of my own child, I have to do the same for all the children being born in the same hospital at the same time. You know, in case we get the wrong one. Sure, there’s a remote chance we could get one who’s parents were both professional athletes, but that’s highly unlikely. No, I want my Ginker to be MY Ginker. That’s not hoping for too much, is it?

I had a thought, which I mentioned to Jani. Someone should make a product that lets you mark your baby as soon as soon as it comes out. Nothing crass, like a bar code, or some hot wax seal, or one of those ear tags they use on cows. I’m thinking maybe a vegetable dye, family crest sort of thing, right there on the forehead. Of course we probably won’t have to worry, as our baby will no doubt have the traditional family birthmark, 999. Jani didn’t find that funny either.

Cheers!

Papi

Tags: Athletes, father-to-be, Fears, Ginker, Hospital, Irrational, N.D., New Mom, Rational, Wrong Baby

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 10:59 am and is filed under Fears. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.