Will my Ginker, A.K.A. Player to be Named Later, A.K.A. unborn child, be born with fish genitalia? I was watching the Colbert Report last night and his guest was NY Times Columnist, Nicholas D. Kristof. The subject of his appearance was Endocrine disruptors, which apparently are causing kids to be born with fish junk. At least that’s what I think he was talking about. It was late and I was on Vicodin. Anyway, you can see for yourself below:
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Nicholas Kristof | ||||
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OK, I just watched the clip again. I really should lay off the Vicodin. But, still there’s a lot to worry about. The world is a dirty, dangerous place. We all laughed at Blinky the three-eyed fish from “The Simpsons,” way back in the 20th century.
Blinky
Suddenly, it’s not so funny. The Potomac river is full of mutant fish….mmmmmmm mutantlicious….. Who knows what’s developing in the world’s oceans.
I recently read that there’s a mass of garbage (the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, A.K.A the Eastern Garbage Patch, A.K.A the Pacific Trash Vortex) that is twice the size of Texas, floating somewhere in the Pacific ocean. TWICE THE SIZE OF FUCKING TEXAS! Wait a minute…. maybe it is Texas. They wanted to secede from the US. Maybe they’ve broken away and made themselves an island. So that’s what GWB was working on all that time he spent in Crawford, on “vacation.” Quick, somebody go see if Texas is still where we left it.
All seriousness aside, a mass of garbage twice the size of Texas? I just can’t wrap my brain around that. You know it’s only a matter of time before all that garbage gets struck by lightning, or a comet passes too close to the Earth, and the garbage vortex comes to life and destroys Tokyo. Save us, Shia! Oh well, I guess I’m left with no choice but to raise my Ginker to fight this garbage monster. Sort of like how Linda Hamilton raised Jon Conner to fight the machines. What a world… what a world….
I leave you with this parting thought:
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Cheers!
Papi
Tags: Blinky, caddyshack, colbert report, endocrine distruptors, Fish, garbage, genitalia, gwb, jon conner, linda hamilton, Mutant, nicholas kristof, NY Times, shia, texas, The Simpsons, tokyo, vicodin, vortex